On Being Single

You know...this is something that's really been on my heart recently. A youth came over to our place last week. An AMAZING young person...desperately seeking to please the Lord. Surely a young man after God's own heart. While talking with him, however...he made the comment that he may just stay single because it's "easier." It was kind of funny at the time he said it. However, my husband did a wonderful job of explaining to him what we believe about single vs. married life.

Since then, it's become sort of a burden on my heart. This is a subject that can be pretty controversial...especially depending on one's current relationship status. This is our opinion.

Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

The Lord created us to be in relationships. Scott and I married obviously, because we loved one another, but more importantly because we had a common love for the Lord and a desire to glorify Him. We found that when we ministered together, our ministry was better that it would have been had we stayed single. We work so much better together, we found joy in being together...because the Lord made us to be in relationships. This is one of most amazing and most suprising blessings from the Lord. Marriage is a beautiful ( but not always easy) gift from the Lord and represents how our relationship with Him should be, in a tangible way. It takes commitment, selflessness, hard work, and a lot of prayer! There are going to be times when it isn't easy and you want to "get out" but that's where your common relationship with the Lord, your desire to glorify Him...that's how you make it through. I know you're probably saying..."Rookie! What do you know? You haven't even been married 2 years!" No...but we've been through more than one might assume. Through it all the Lord has been sufficient.

Now, we do have an arguement for the other side as well, believe it or not. However, it may not be what you might think.

In Matthew 19 Jesus is speaking to His disciples about divorce and that there are only certain circumstances where divorce is acceptable. His disciples go on to ask Him this:

10"If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

We believe that Jesus is saying here that it is okay to be single only if it is because you have chosen this way to further the kingdom of heaven. In other words...only if the Lord has called one to be single in order to serve Him better. This is something that VERY VERY few people can do. BUT, to those the Lord has called this specific ministry and who live it out...BLESS YOU! Those who are called to this specific ministry, however, are STILL called to be in relationships. We are ALL called to be in relationship with the body of Christ...the church. (This is another rant, but) We don't join a church for our own personal enjoyment. It is to be in fellowship with other believers...to offer the gifts that the Lord has given to us to build up His community in the church. You attend a church to give the Lord the worship He deserves and to be with His people...not to get your weekly fill-up, to pay your dues, or to be entertained. (Sorry...just felt really "preachy" there) Anyway, ESPECIALLY if you're single, you need to be in a body of believers. We NEED to be in relationships. Or the consequences could be devastating.
I love these lyrics by Derek Webb

I have come with one purpose
to capture for myself a bride
by my life she is lovely
by my death she’s justified

i have always been her husband
though many lovers she has known
so with water i will wash her
and by my Word alone

so when you hear the sound of the water
you will know you’re not alone

(chorus)
‘cause i haven’t come for only you
but for my people to pursue
you cannot care for me with no regard for her
if you love me you will love the church

i have long pursued her
as a harlot and a whore
but she will feast upon me
she will drink and thirst no more

so when you taste my flesh and my blood
you will know you’re not alone

(chorus)
there is none that can replace her
though there are many who will try
and though some may be her bridesmaids
they can never be my bride

We need to be together (unless called by the Lord otherwise). Men and women were designed to be together. Desires are too strong, loneliness can set it, temptation can take over, we become dependent on the world to satisfy us...which it never can, fully. No amount of money, the nicest home, the best job, the greatest friends...nothing can satisfy the way the Lord can in a relationship with Him and in the blessings He gives through marriage.

That's my opinion on that.